Notes - for fellow diarylanders!
Guestbook - for outsiders!
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2002-04-29 - 1:34 a.m. I think the reduction of the level of my involvement with diaryland has started to disrupt the equilibrium of my life outside of it. I can't believe I'm letting this happen. Keeping this diary has had so many positive effects on my life up until now; I need it. I need to write every day. And I need to recognise my desire to be popular, to be loved, to be admired. They're vain and petty desires and they are not admirable; that's the irony. The desire to be seen as someone who is admirable is not admirable; therefore anyone with such a desire will try to pretend they lack it. - I have a voice here that I cannot use anywhere else. It's no good, I think, this desire to divide my diary in two. It won't work because this very voice is controversial, is something I am ashamed of, is something I can't bear to conceal or part with or acknowledge. Gah! I'm being torn in two! - I think what I'm going to do is return all of the old entries that I've moved so far to the other diary back into this one. Then I'm going to close this diary. Which is to say, it'll still be here, but locked, and I won't add any more entries to it. Then I'll start afresh, as it were, in the new diary. I would have been happy to be itylus the rest of my life, but it was not to be, it seems. So, once the arrangements have been made, I'll tell you all the name of the new diary, and, um, yeah, I can make the switch. - "No-one could steer me right" - Merle Haggard
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