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2002-04-10 - 12:24 a.m.

I have a message in my guestbook from the wonderful damodred declaring that my dad is a computer hog. Well I never!

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Actually, the truth is, it's his computer and his internet connection, and so... well, oh, and also, he uses it to do real work which pays for everything such as the roof over my head, food on my table, and aforesaid internet connection... so I can't really complain, can I? Well, I could, but I'd feel pretty ungracious if I did.

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My friend H has a new girlfriend, or, at least, a very likely romantic prospect. It makes me jealous. But then I think, I would make a terrible mess of things all over again if I got into another relationship. So I should just be happy for him and forget my silly petty jealousy. That's what I should do. But I'm jealous, nonetheless.

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I've been reading this book, Angels, by Michel Serres, and it's great! To anyone who has access to a very good library, I heartily recommend it. It's got this thing about cardsharps, this is the bit I've just been reading, which says, a cardsharp is someone who, far from breaking all the rules, follows very strictly a different set of rules in a game with much higher stakes than his fellow players... because where the others risk financial ruin, he risks having his throat cut if he's caught. It's, um, it's about, I don't know, being willing to die at every moment of our lives being the only way to actually live. It's kind of complicated and I don't get 100% of it myself, but anyway, book recommendation.

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I just finished reading another book, a biography of Pete Seeger, which was kind of inspiring and kind of sad. I was particularly torn when it came to the part about his relationship with Bob Dylan, because Seeger was a mentor and advocate for Dylan until the electric incident at the Newport Folk Festival... it's like, Dylan is more admirable as an artist, no question, but Seeger is far, far more admirable than Dylan as a human being, as a person. I guess the question it poses is, is it better to be a great artist or a decent person?

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"Who pushes the pedals on the seasons' cycle?" - XTC

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