Notes - for fellow diarylanders!
Guestbook - for outsiders!
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2002-03-17 - 11:38 p.m. Something - I'm not sure if I've said this already? - why don't I just repeat myself anyway? Something I've been thinking about is something my supervisor said to me a couple of weeks ago. There's an AA slogan, that goes, "You never stop being an alcoholic". And he said, that used to really bother him, that idea, but now it seems to actually make a lot of sense. The thing is, you never stop being one; but once you acknowledge the fact that you are, then it makes it possible for you to be something else as well; so long as you deny it or pretend that it's got nothing to do with you, then it's the only thing you can be. It's about distance, I guess, being able to take a step back when you identify too closely with something, or take a step closer when you reject something as being utterly alien to you. - Mental illness has always been something that's fascinated me, ever since I was told at an early age that I was a "manic depressive". And I'm sure now, actually, that "mental illness" is something of a misnomer; I think the whole point of classifying it as an illness is to try and make "them" seem different to "us". They're just like us! That's the thing, that's what I'm sure of, that everyone is actually partly all of those things that are classified as "illness"... it's just a matter of degree, of balance. Anyway, I seem to have lost my enthusiasm for writing about this, it has been a long day. The picnic was preceded by a sad scene in which I felt utterly helpless... and the picnic itself was kind of pleasant but dull and then there was my brother's birthday dinner, which was delicious but didn't feel all that festive. Anyway. - Why do I keep saying "anyway"? Fie on it! - "I'm going down to the murky water Because it is my home" - Oh Susanna
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