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2002-03-14 - 10:57 p.m.

I woke up exhausted at 11.30 today and felt exhausted all day and I don't know why. And my bones feel weird and I'm getting RSI in my right wrist, well maybe not. I'm a hypochondriac.

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Um, starlight and I are no longer together. I don't want to go into any great detail or make a big thing about it except to say it was mutual and amicable and we're still friends, but... let's just say the Tasman sea is wider than we really gave it credit for.

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Work on my PhD thesis is going well, um, I'm actually kind of enjoying it and feeling like it's helping me get something more out of life, to kind of be more like the sort of person I want to be. I think I'm more able now to let go of my ego and my security and write a bit more unselfconsciously, with less of an eye on trying to impress and more on trying to follow an issue or listen to a voice... but I'm not all the way there, not by any means!

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I met someone today who I've hated for a while. Big long story, but basically a friend of mine (H's ex) is being used by a really evil boyfriend who is putting her through all kinds of hell and she is in turn putting the people she knows through all kinds of hell... anyway, I met the bastard who's at the root of it, and he's... I don't know, he surprised me by being so feeble. But I still took a dislike to him. Blah, that's enough of my stupid day, now I'm going to go and read about everyone else's day...

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"The only thing that's truly free

Is this little voice that's telling me

To hold on" - Chris Smither

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