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2002-03-10 - 11:01 p.m.

I must give up on life a hundred times a day; yet something keeps pulling me up onto my feet and stops me from laying down and dying. It's certainly not any kind of Nietzchean will to power. But thanks christ it's there, whatever it is. I'm usually not thankful enough for it; I don't even recognise its existence. But it's there.

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I did some good work today, after two days of feeling like I was never going to get anything done again. I feel wonderful; of course tomorrow I'm right back at nowhere again. But you can't ask life to give you guaranteed future happiness forever and ever; if you feel good right now, that's all you can really ask for, isn't it?

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"God save the human cannonball" - Bruce Springsteen

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