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2002-02-26 - 9:25 p.m. I sometimes get very disheartened because I keep thinking of answers, of new ways of approaching the world, new ideas... and yet they seem to have very little effect on my life. Yesterday, for example, I was saying to myself (here in the diary) that if I'm going to live I may as well have a decet bash at it... but what did I do today? - I got up, made a list of things I needed to do, did about half of them, played computer games, ate some stuff, answered the phone and took messages, read some of the paper, went for a bike ride... it's not exactly going to change the world, is it? Then again, maybe it's sheer vanity to think in terms of whether or not something is going to change the world. Ozymandias and all that. Maybe I ought to look at my cat instead; it lies around sleeping most of the day, occaisionally seeks out food or affection or adventure, and that's it. I bet it's not sitting there thinking about whether or not it's going to have statues built of it after it dies. Should the cat despair because it isn't acheiving anything? Aren't our acheivements all just as ephemeral, in the long run, as those of the cat? - "I don't want to live But what else can I do?" - Loudon Wainwright III
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